Oh bother.

It has been the long standing word of my mother that you cannot, SHOULD NOT get involved in a romantic relationship while being an academic student. Her reasoning being that it will take you off concentrating from your studies.
While I know plenty of high school mates who had several romances and managed to top the honor roll at the same time, I am still struggling to discover the balance between the secret of their success and my mother's philosophy. For sadly, I have so far failed miserably in trying to juggle both at the same time.
Now for the matter at hand. My sweetheart, with whom I've been going out for the past 1 year and 8 months is the sweetest guy ever! He pushes me to study when I procrastinate, stays up late with me, and even goes through my books so that he can quiz me. With his help (and my mum's endless supply of nightly Bournvitas, coffee and milk), I successfully aced (for the first time) my exams last March and June.
Now I have exams coming up in September, and I have NO CLUE as to what I'm going to do since the love of my life flew overseas for employment! I've been caught up in making him stuff and mothering him... and after he left, crying into his teeshirts missing him like nuts. There's no way I can concentrate on my studies carrying on like this!
Now I'm wondering if my mum was right after all.... Do romance and studying really mix?

Diagnosis: extreme boredom bordering on insanity

I'm jobless, penniless and friendless, how miserable do you expect me to be? I feel like I'm wasting my life every minute of the day. It kills me to know I have the knowledge to do so many things, and the talent to do others.... and yet sit here doing nothing. When the day's cooking and cleaning is done, I am so bored that I actually wait for spiders to build cobwebs so that I can brush them off.

As you may be wondering why I am so jobless, I'll update you to the fact that I quit my job in January this year to become a full time student. Now my exams are over and I only have classes on Saturdays, which makes me a free bird for the other 6 days of the week. I have do not have cable TV, nor do I have a computer (mine broke down a month ago), nor do I have anyone to even speak to until my mum comes home from work at 2pm.

There is a list of things that my mum rattles off when I complain that I'm suffering from extreme boredom, but  she fails to see why I can't do those things. Since she won't hear me through, I'm gonna put it down so that at least my similarly afflicted comrades may relate to my thoughts.

1. Writing- I have the words in my head but no computer to type it in. When I sit in front of this ancient father of all computers in the cheapest internet cafe in town and stare at the dusty keyboard (and the scattered ants picking their way through through the keys) words fail me. I spend my 30 rupees in vain by browsing through random trolls on facebook, none of them succeeding in exercising my facial muscles an inch. Oh well, I cannot write when I want to write, I have to be inspired.
2. Card Making- How can I be expected to make cards when I don't have any pretty materials to make them with? Lately my handmade greeting cards feature newspaper cutouts and backdrops of newsprint (I tell people I'm doing my bit for the environment) since they are the most freely available material around my house.
3. Cake making- How many cakes can one make? And how in heaven's name are you supposed to not eat the delectable thing you just created? And how will one maintain a presentable figure with regular consumption of such delightful poisons??? groooannn........

And the list goes on and on and on............... And in the meantime, I'll continue killing myself with boredom.

Frustrated!!!

I spent the whole of high school undecided on what my career would be... and after A/L I decided to find meself a job (only for the time being, I told myself) and I'm working here for like- a year now. I'm really not decided on what I want to do, and what the purpose of my bloody life is.
All my friends are either in uni or doing various degrees and diplomas, all so focused, and happy, and enjoying their lives while ME- miserable sod that I am- am stuck working six days a week, earning a comfortable pay and  going all over the place with deciding my future. God help me, I never wanted to end up this way! I've no idea how I'm gonna claw my way outta this hole.......